The Suburban Rabbit

Year of the Hog

2007-01-11T21:21:00.000-06:00

I read recently that this is the year of the hog in the Chinese system. Each year is apparently associated with a beast in a rotating 12 year cycle. The beasts are:

Rooster
Dog
Boar/Pig/Hog
Rat
Ox
Tiger
Hare/Rabbit
Dragon
Serpent/Snake
Horse
Ram
Monkey

Of course it begs the question: which came first, the Chicken or the Egg — er — the Chicken or the Dog (or Boar or Rat or ...)?

Speaking of chickens and eggs, did you know that some genius in England (I think) has claimed to have decisively answered the question of which came first? His answer is the egg and his reasoning goes like this: What comes out of the egg is what was in the egg, genetically speaking. But what goes into the egg isn't necessarily what was in the mother.

In other words, he opines that the chicken is a chicken because it came from a chicken egg — it couldn't come from any other kind of egg. But sometimes things go wrong when eggs are created or fertilized and the result is a new set of DNA. Some new sets of DNA are not successful and the egg never hatches, but other new sets of DNA work out okay and you end up with a new critter inside the shell. Maybe that explains the Easter Bunny!

Sounds okay, but my retort is "what about cancer?" And no, I'm not shifting my calendar focus to the zodiac on my way back to the Chinese calendar (though I'll get back there). What I'm asking about is the disease called cancer. If I understand what I've read (though you must consider the source), cancer cells are mutations of normal cells. The DNA has been changed during replication. What if this happened after the egg was laid/fertilized/whatever? My point is that what started out as one thing turns into another, and why can't it happen in the egg and result in a chicken? It didn't start out as a chicken egg, but a chicken came out of it! So can you really call it a chicken egg? If that's how it happened then the chicken came before the chicken egg.

But what do I know? I'm just a Rabbit.

So back to the Chinese calendar. This is the year of the Pig or Hog or Boar. Different calendars call it different things, but those things are rather different from one another, don't you think? And some calendars have a Rabbit while others have Hares, and we're rather different from each other, too. But I don't want to split hairs! ;-) ;-)

According to the placemat (the Chinese calendar has been handed down through the centuries on restaurant placemats) anyone born this year will be "Shy but short tempered. Affectionate and kind to loved ones. Impulsive and honest. Most compatible with Sheep and Rabbits. Steer clear of other Pigs."

I was born in 2005, which was the year of the Chicken (uh-oh, hare we go again!). According to the placemat, those born under the sign of the Chicken should avoid Rabbits. Of course, I'm a rabbit. So I have to avoid — myself.

That picture has absolutely nothing to do with me, but I found it while I was looking for rabbit pictures and I thought it was cute.

Hoppy Christmas

2006-12-02T12:22:00.000-06:00

Things have been a bit slow for the past few months. Can't get into the backyard anymore, but I'm still around. Unfortunately, the bushes just don't provide the same sense of security as the fence once did. No matter that the old fence didn't really provide security — it was the impression that mattered.

Gee, does that remind you of something? Bushes. Fences. Security.

Anyway, the drought has really done a number on us rabbits. The watering restrictions have reduced our local food supply and caused a migration to — well, to greener pastures. It's kind of funny, in a perverted sort of way, to see how house size correlates with water usage. A few blocks away the houses are much larger and the lawns are much greener. You wouldn't think there were watering restrictions over there, but I'm told that the whole city is under restrictions.

So guess where all the rabbits are?

I can tell you that the lure of free internet access is not so strong when you're hungry.

But back to my humorous correlation: the people who are most caught up in keeping up appearances, including green lawns and lush flower beds, are doing exactly the thing that most attracts the animals that will destroy their vegetation! In other words, by ignoring the water crisis and finding every legal (and sometimes illegal) way to water their yards, they are standing out as an oasis for all the starving critters in the area!

There's no sign of the drought ending, so I can't say when I'll be able to move back to this yard. And as it takes quite some time to hop over here I would advise you not to hold your breath until my next post. I've tried to encourage one of my kids, Floppy XVII, to submit a post or two, but he just doesn't seem into it.

So if you don't hear from me again until next year, I hope you have a Hoppy Christmas!

Final (?) Backyard Update

2006-08-18T11:12:00.000-05:00

Just when you can't think of anything else that needs doing, someone shows up and does something really, really, odd.

As you know, the work in the backyard has been the bane / focus of my existence (aside from finding green grass during a drought) for the past few weeks.

I thought everything was done last week, but yesterday the boss-man of the backyard construction crew showed up with what I can only call a wheel-barrel. It was a barrel on its side with a handle attached so that you could roll it around. He filled it with water (is that legal under current water usage rules?) and then pushed it all around the new grass.

Okay.

I have no clue what this thing is for. Was it a lint roller? An iron (like for removing wrinkles from clothes)? An exercise program? I'm perplexed.

Once again I think this will be my last post about the backyard. But who knows, maybe someone will show up tomorrow with iron-on transfers and put them all around the lawn. Or maybe a UFO will hand and make crop circles in the grass.

I'll keep an eye on things for you.

Backyard Update 5

2006-08-11T13:17:00.000-05:00

It's been a tough week. There is only one way in and out of the backyard now, and that's under the front gate. It's a tight squeeze for me, so I think it will hold back the cats and dogs, unless the cats decide to climb over. But since there isn't a giant litter box under the tree anymore I think the lazy cats won't bother.

Since Monday there have been people in the backyard nearly every daylight hour, so I haven't been back there much. Instead I've been working from the bushes on the north side of the front door. The Wi-Fi signal is very strong there.

Anyway, the wall and fence seem to be done. They even came and sprayed the fence with a liquid that makes it much darker. A bunch of bricks were piled near the base of the wall and then covered with dirt. Then a different color of dirt was put over the first dirt, and then grass was put in. At least I think it's grass. It's not very green or healthy looking. But I guess it will keep the dirt from blowing away.

The humans watered the dickens out of the dead grass last night. Thursday is their day to water and they made the most of it.

In summary, what used to be one of the best yards to raise a family in is no longer. The grass is all dead and is periodically flooded. Maybe things will be better next year.

Backyard Update 4

2006-08-06T09:03:00.000-05:00

About 5:30 Friday night a bunch of guys showed up and did some work on the fence and on some pipes under the ground. It only took them about an hour and they were gone.

The boss man came by yesterday morning, just before lunch and left a trailer full of pieces of brick. He talked to the Gray One and they walked all along the fence. I heard the Gray One ask about putting some trim at the bottom of the front gate, but the boss man said he couldn't because it would hit the turf (I think that's grass) when you opened it. That's a relief because the gap under that gate is the only way in or out of the backyard unless you're tall enough to operate the latch.

I have to admit that I'm a bit worried about those brick pieces. I've seen those kids play and if something can be picked up and thrown, it will be. So far they've shown remarkable restraint about throwing things at me, but maybe that's because I'm so hard to see when I keep really, really still. And my zig-zag running makes me a hard target to hit.

Backyard Update 3

2006-08-02T20:26:00.000-05:00

Apparently the Hispanics working in the backyard are also good Catholics because Sunday was a day of rest. If they worked, they weren't working here. Then again, they didn't show up Monday, either, and Tuesday only saw two of them show up late and work for only about an hour attaching one row of 2x6 along the top of the wall.

This morning started out looking like another slow day, but just after 11 the same two from late Tuesday showed up and got down to some serious work. Then, around 4 p.m. the boss-man showed up and there was an argument about the 2x6 that had been installed the day before. It seems to be called a "kick board" and the argument was about whether it should have been there. Conclusion: the 2x6 on the work order was a "top cap" (which is not the same as a "top hat"), not a kick board. I wasn't close enough to hear if the boss-man suggested that the workers should learn to read English.

The fence is almost done. The kick board stays because it would be too much labor to remove it after 150 feet of pickets have been installed. I'm guessing it will all be done tomorrow, though I don't know if that will include the staining (the Gray One and his mate chose "light", not "dark").

As I was watching the work I was getting really worried because there's no gap between the wall and the fence. That's good for keeping dogs out, but looked pretty effective at keeping me out, too! Then I saw a spot over by the garage where the wall drops down flush with the grass. That's where the gate used to be and it looks like they're constructing another there. There's about a 4 inch space under the gate that I can easily get through. Unfortunately, it might also let small dogs through. Luckily, there's still the crack between the chimney and the storage box — I can seek refuge there if a dog squeezes under the gate.

Backyard Update 2

2006-07-30T12:34:00.000-05:00

The wall got finished on Saturday, but the Gray One is out today doing cleanup stuff. Well, he's moving stuff around. There's concrete dust and sand everywhere, plus rock chips and blobs of concrete. My grass is inedible because of all the dust.

I found out that the head Mexican is actually Brazilian. I overheard him telling the female human that the fence guys would start Tuesday and be done on Wednesday, with the whole "thing" done by the end of the week.

I just hope they wash the grass when they're done.

Backyard Update

2006-07-29T08:38:00.000-05:00

I overheard the Grey One talking with the leader of the wall builders and now believe that there will be a fence on top of the wall.

Aside #1:4 —I thought the rule was one white guy watching four hispanics working, but the boss of this crew seems to be a hispanic himself. Could it be that they really are taking over?

A fence on top would make sense and would explain the big shiny posts sticking out of the wall. I didn't know what they were for and thought they must help the guys build the wall straight or something.

Anyway, they're about halfway done with the wall and I think they're planning on working Sunday to finish the wall part. Kinda sucks to have to work the whole weekend, but I guess that's the life of a construction worker. You gotta work when there's work to do and the weather is good.

Still Here

2006-07-28T10:55:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it's been over 2 months since my last post! Time flies, as they say, though I can't really say that I've been having fun.

It's been pretty hot lately and no rain to speak of. The humans have cut way back on watering their yard and it's getting kind of brown. As a result I and the other rabbits have been ranging quite a bit looking for the best grass to eat.

And if you're reading this then you're aware of the number of computer patches that have been released lately. I've come to dread "Patch Tuesday" because of all the calls I'll get from my many, many, many relatives who all expect me to update their computers. I've tried to get them to use automated updates, but they just won't do it.

Then, to make matters worse -- much worse -- some guys came by yesterday and knocked down the fence! I know it was a crummy fence, but it did a pretty good job of keeping the dogs out. So I now have the opposite problem from that famous song, namely, Who Let the Dogs IN?

Today the guys seem to be building a stone wall, but it doesn't look tall enough to keep dogs out -- they can jump pretty high, you know.

I'll try to keep you posted as things develop here in the backyard.

Lucky, My Foot!

2006-05-21T15:18:00.000-05:00

What is it with humans and "lucky" items, like rabbits' feet? Some items, like a four-leaf clover, can be had without the death of anything (the clover plant can go on living after the loss of the "lucky" item). But others, like a rabbit's foot, certainly entail the demise of the donor.

Is this a cruel variant of "one man's trash is another man's treasure"? You know, "your bad luck is my good luck"? Is that how you raise your children these days? It seems like a rather extreme finders keepers, losers weepers attitude (I'm sure Gene Bob will let me know if I'm missing any punctuation in that phrase).

Besides, other than "Elephant Stew" and a shrinking community of country folk, there doesn't appear to be much demand for any part of the rabbit but the hind feet. Pretty wasteful, don't you think?

Aside #Add 1 Rabbit: Surely you've all heard about the recipe for Elephant Stew? It serves about 100 people, but includes directions for how to extend the recipe to feed 200 people by adding one rabbit. Adding the rabbit does the trick because no one want to find a hare in their stew. Ha ha. ROTFLMFO!

Aside #2': ROTFLMFO is SMS for Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Foot Off. Maybe that explains the source of rabbits' feet.

I know, some of you are thinking of rabbit fur lined gloves. They used to be popular (except with the rabbits), but these days they're rather hard to find. Sadly, rabbit feet in all manner of unnatural colors aren't.

And it's not like you need to slaughter a bunch of rabbits anyway just to keep the population down. Only about 15% of wild rabbits survive more than a year! While humans are losing their taste for rabbit stew; coyotes, owls, hawks, bobcats, wolves, foxes, and domesticated cats and dogs, plus a bunch of other critters, are still quite fond of us.

And then there are Chevy Suburbans.

So please, if you won't pass up the "lucky" rabbit foot to save the life of a rabbit, how about doing so to keep a wild animal from starving? After all, a well fed coyote isn't likely to come after Fluffy, your cute little lap dog (or cat).

Mating Rituals

2006-05-15T11:47:00.000-05:00

So far none of my helpful readers has been very helpful. The only response so far has been to correct my hyphenation.

Aside #1: Is Anal-Retentive hyphenated?

But I did spend some more time going through the google results and found another meaning for Prom — one which makes more sense for the popular kids — a dance.

Basically, the Prom is an elaborate mating ritual where the male spends a lot of money to win the affections of a female, with the production of offspring being the ultimate goal. This I can relate to as a rabbit.

What we cottontails do isn't all that different: first the male chases the female, usually after dark, until the female turns and faces him. The female then jabs at the male a bit with her forepaws and, eventually, one of the pair jumps about 2 feet into the air. At this point the chase may be on again and the cycle can continue for several iterations. Eventually, mating occurs and babies follow about 4 weeks later.

If we (rabbits) were to don clothes like the rabbit in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and rent a large automobile we could probably slip in unnoticed to the Prom.

Goin' to the Prom!

2006-05-12T16:41:00.000-05:00

Lots of the older (human) kids around here are talking about going to something called The PROM. I know that curiosity is generally considered to be the domain of cats (and is rumored to be a risky business), but I was interested in finding out more about it. So, of course, I googled prom.

Apparently kids these days are really sophisticated from a high-tech point of view. In fact, they are really into tech and seem to organize big parties around it.

Aside #13-years-old-and-holding: A PROM party seems to be different from a LAN Party. While both involve computer technology, only unpopular males go to LAN Parties while the rest of the population (of a certain age) goes to PROM parties. There appears to be little interaction between the two groups.

And you can't just go to a PROM party, you have to get all dressed up and pay someone with a really nice car to drive you. I think there must be a lot of drinking going on and the hired car is sort of like a designated driver program, only your best friends get to party along with you.

Anyway, they spend so much time planning these PROM parties, and so much money attending them, that they can only afford to do one per year.

But I'm still confused by one thing, while all the talk is about going to the PROM party and what they'll wear and who they're going with and where they'll eat before hand, they never seem to talk about the programs. I'd think that the program in the PROM would be a key feature of a PROM party. Either they're writing programs to store in the PROM or they're running them (in some device), right? I mean, what else can you do with a Programmable Read Only Memory module? I saw a few pictures of PROMs on the web and they all look pretty much alike.

So a PROM party must be about the programs, but I can't find anything on Google about PROM programming in the context of a PROM party. Maybe one of my helpful readers will help me out.

Busy, Busy!

2006-05-05T16:38:00.000-05:00

I feel a bit like the rabbit in "Alice in Wonderland": rushing about, constantly late. I've been rather busy since Easter and, thankfully, it has nothing to do with colored eggs. My research about Easter turned up the fact that Easter is a season, not just one day. Fortunately for me and for the poor schmucks who have to lay, decorate, and distribute them, that whole egg business is just one day.

Anyway, life is busy for a cottontail in spring. With plenty of food, relatively frequent rains (and automated sprinklers here in suburbia), and relatively cool weather it is prime time for us to do what we're famous for: breeding.

Did you know that we're only pregnant for about 4 weeks before we give birth to our babies? It's true. And we only take care of our babies for about 4 weeks before they're ready to hop off on their own. It's a good thing they're ready that fast because I can get pregnant again immediately after giving birth. Some of the rabbits around here, where food is plentiful, can have 7 litters of babies each year. Since each litter can have between 3 and 5 babies, that's as many as 35 cute, little bunnies every year from just one mature female.

Oh, a female is mature at the age of 2 to 3 months, so a female born in April can start having babies herself in July, and those babies could start having babies in October, though that is kind of late in the season.

But maybe now you have a better idea of why people talk about "reproducing like rabbits." They aren't talking about the photocopiers at Kinko's (though I've always liked that name)!

Oh, by the way, if you find some baby bunnies that you think have been abandoned, leave them alone. I only visit my babies at dawn and dusk, but never when I think people are around. Since they're born naked and blind they're kind of helpless and it's a good idea if I don't lead predators directly to them. So I tend to stay away except when it's time to feed them. That's just the way we cottontails do things and it seems to work.

Ether Bunny

2006-04-17T15:10:00.000-05:00

I was enjoying a nice, quiet breakfast on Saturday when the soothing drone of power lawn equipment was pierced by cries of, "Hey, it's the Ether Bunny!"

Or that's what I thought they were saying. Being a rabbit whose internet connection goes over the ether, which is, incidentally, the original medium for the ethernet, I assumed that the children were describing me in terms of the technology I use.

Then, on Sunday afternoon, I saw the kids bopping each other over the head and yelling, "conejo!" At first I thought this must be some odd variant of "Duck, Duck, Goose" (though I have no idea why they'd yell "rabbit!" in Spanish as they hit each other), but then I noticed little bits of colored paper falling from the tops of their heads. Later I saw the remnants of what looked like egg shells, but they were many colors, not just brown and white.

Finally, late Sunday, I saw Gene's comment about this religious festival called "Easter". After a little more research I learned about this rabbit, the Easter Bunny (not the ether bunny), who does, as Gene suggests, leave brightly colored eggs all over the place. But I didn't see anything suggesting that the rabbit actually lays the eggs -- the internet is silent on the issue of where the eggs come from or who decorates them.

I also did a little more research and found out that eggs filled with confetti (bits of colored paper) are called "cascarones" in Spanish. That's close to the Spanish word "conejo", especially when screamed by gringo children. And if I had known about this Easter Bunny business when I'd heard the yells, I probably would have been even more inclined to think they were yelling "conejo!".

There are so many things to learn! I'm already in middle age and I feel like I don't know half of what I should.

Some Good; Some Bad

2006-04-10T10:24:00.000-05:00

Like most weeks, this one was so-so. Not great, but not horrible, either.

On the one hand, the lawn cutter is back, so the yummy grasses which have been sprouting are sure to get a trim soon. On the other hand, the grey one took out the cat litter box, so maybe the cats will stop coming around.

Honestly, I don't know why so many yards around here have cat litter boxes. Children find them irresistible and spend a lot of time playing in them — even keeping a lot of toys in them. Yuck! Who wants to play with toys covered in cat piss or to use their bulldozers to move cat turd boulders around the "construction site"? Well, besides kids.

What that? Yes, it's true that I eat my own poop, but that's different. Grasses are very hard to digest and it takes two passes through my system to get the full nutritional value. The soft, greenish ones aren't waste, they're an intermediate step. I don't eat the hard brownish black ones. That would be disgusting!

But as I was saying, it was a pretty average week. Some good; some bad.

PS. A quick shout-out to Fritz, Annabelle, and Carrie over in the Smith's yard. You should be out of the nest by now. If you aren't, you'd better get out soon 'cause Momma's got a squeeze box, Daddy never sleeps at night. (Sorry, they've been playing the oldies station in the back-yard this weekend.)

Changes Afoot?

2006-04-01T15:50:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I saw the grey one loading the grass cutter into his truck. Did it break? Or is he getting a new one? I hope he isn't hoping to cut the grass even shorter than it is right now.

There have also been a bunch of men wandering around the back yard lately. They keep making measurements and writing down lots of stuff. I wonder what they're doing? I even heard the long haired one say "rabbit" a couple of times. I hope she's making sure that they don't hurt me when they do whatever it is they're planning on doing.

Be Still My Beating Heart!

2006-03-29T14:26:00.000-06:00

Well, he did it. The grey one. He scalped the back yard. All those tender greens (I think I heard him call them weeds) are gone and everything else has been hacked to the ground. To look at it, you'd think a herd of goats had been grazing here.

That was Sunday. Here it is Wednesday and I'm just checking in to see if there's enough new growth to sustain me. Well, and to check my email.

Nervous Tick #1: No, GeneBob, I don't do the backstroke. I dog-paddle, though I hate that name and use it only because you'll know what I'm talking about.

The front yard is looking promising, but the back is still too recent.

Brrr!

2006-03-24T17:14:00.000-06:00

I've been freezing my fuzzy little cottontail off these past few days.

I had just begun to settle into a nice routine following the human's so-called "spring break" when I started to wonder if I should be looking for a man building a large boat. Perhaps he would like a nice Cottontail or two on board with him. We got 4½ inches of rain in two days. But I heard of some backyards not far from here that got 10" and more in one day!

After it finally stopped raining we had one nice day, and then it got cold and very windy. This morning it actually dropped below freezing. I could tell by the frost all around me when I woke up. Frost is not good for all the tender flowers I like to eat, so I'm keeping my ears crossed and hoping that they're okay.

Anyway, it got pretty nice this afternoon. A little sunshine and only a little breeze.

The only thing still concerning me is the automatic weapon in the tree. I've heard about these things. They're hooked up to a web-cam and an internet site that lets people halfway around the world (or just inside the house) aim the gun and BANG! ... the fur goes flying. So I've been keeping a close eye on it and trying to stay out of its sights.

Busy Week

2006-03-14T10:51:00.000-06:00

Wow! It's been a busy week. First, I was practically ousted from my backyard by two overly energetic juvenile humans. Then, as I wandered the neighborhood, checking out relocation options, I noticed that people are running around like crazy, cutting all the new grass down to the ground! I was starting to panic when cousin Mitzy, who lives near something they call a school, told me that they do this every year about this time. The humans think that when the grass just starts to turn green you should cut it really, really short. Supposedly this makes it all grow faster.

When I got back home Saturday night I discovered that my own humans had scalped the front yard as well (that's what they call cutting the grass really short), but not the back. I'm glad I ran into Mitzy or I'd have been quaking in my huddle hole!

Mitzy turned out to be very informative. She's quite a bit older than me, you see, so she knows about a lot more. Anyway, this school place I mentioned earlier is where the juveniles go during the day, but not every day. It's usually a 5 on, 2 off schedule. And there are longer breaks every now and then. Last week was a break called "Spring Break", and that is why the juveniles were running amok all over the neighborhood (not just in my back yard).

So yesterday, Monday, was quiet. I thought it might have been because it got a bit cooler and the humans don't have much fur to keep them warm. But now I guess Mitzy was right and they're back in school. For now my relocation planning is off — I'll just stay here. I hope they don't scalp the back yard. In the meantime, I'm looking forward to a few days of peace and quiet.

Dangerous Times

2006-03-09T17:46:00.000-06:00

I don't know what happened, but my previously peaceful backyard has become decidedly less so in the past week.

You may recall that the lack of cats and dogs and pools, and a good Wi-Fi connection, was a prime factor in my place of residence. What I didn't mention was that this house does have children. Human children, that is. Two of them. Boys.

They use my abode as their playground, but until a few days ago they did this late in the day most days, and only during the day for a couple of days each week. But they've been spending a lot of time out here for the past six days and it's really starting to wear me down.

I don't mind leaving the back-yard every now and then, even for most of the day if it doesn't happen too often. But I'm beginning to wonder if this is a permanent thing, and the idea frightens me.

Even with the recent spate of road rage killings, there are lots of rabbits around. And the first batch of Spring babies are going out on their own about now. Combine all those new mouths with the fact that lawns aren't yet in full bloom and we're facing a food shortage in the common areas. And more and more private areas are being claimed every day. If these children don't go back to their normal play patterns soon I may have to find a new place to live.

Every Silver Lining

2006-02-28T23:44:00.000-06:00

You know what they say, "Every silver lining has its cloud." For example, all the rain late last week was really good for the local flora, and since we eat the flora you could say it was good for us fauna as well. But it also left us sopping wet and cold and flushed many of us out of our normal lairs and into the open where we were in danger of bird flu, as in, "then this bird flu out of nowhere and grabbed Manny in his talons and carried him away!"

So the sun finally comes out and things get dry and warm — kinda spring-like. So we're feeling kind of frisky and start visiting our neighbors and doing what rabbits do: eating the plants that are springing up due to the warmth and recent rain. That's the silver lining part. The cloud part isn't actually a cloud, but the shadow of a Brobdignagian SUV (which I think stands for Suburban Uhsalt V-hickle). I can't begin to tell you how many of my fellow denizens of the lawn have been run over recently.

Well, okay, I can begin, if you really want to know. There was Manny — no, not that Manny, another one — and Fred on Sunday, then Jerome and Jerald, the twins, on Monday. And today, Alice. And that's just within a block or two!

It's supposed to be warm again tomorrow. I hope folks are paying attention and stop running out into the streets. Otherwise it's going to be a lonely spring.

Blub

2006-02-26T08:42:00.000-06:00

I am a Sylvilagus Floridanus, not a Leptodactylus somethingorother! In other words, I'm not a bloody frog! In fact, I'm not any sort of amphibian. I am an Eastern Cottontail — a rabbit.

One of the reasons I picked this particular yard, besides the strong Wi-Fi signal, is because they have neither dogs nor cats nor pool. Not that I have anything against dogs or cats or pools. Let's just say that I'm not in the habit of hanging around with critters that want to have me for dinner. Notice, please, that I didn't say that they want to have me over for dinner, they want to have me for dinner.

But I digress. We were talking about not being amphibian. Pools take up a lot of a backyard, and what isn't taken up by pool and deck is usually given over to some low maintenance garden. The plants in such gardens are sometimes good places to hide or to raise babies, but not so good for eating. And since I am not, as I've said, an amphibian, the pool holds no other attraction for me.

So I found this nice backyard with lots of yummy grass, no dogs or cats, and a fence to provide protection against dogs and most (lazy) cats.

And then what happens?

It rains. A lot. 3½ inches. I thought this was Texas. I thought we were in a drought. 3½ inches isn't a friggin' drought!

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5. Sorry 'bout that. I'm trying to calm down now. 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10. There. Deep breath. Yes, I'm much more prone to rapid breathing, but I'm trying.

You see, as I've said before, I'm not an amphibian. Come to think of it, I'm not a duck, either. But the past day or so has definitely been frog and duck weather. I'm cold. I'm wet. I'm not happy.

But the sun has come out today and I'm hopeful that I'll be dry and warm soon.

Is this working?

2006-02-24T14:52:00.000-06:00

The people in the big house got Wi-Fi. Finally!

You'd think that in this day and age, and especially in this community, that everyone would have Wi-Fi by now. But No-oooooo! Judging from the signal levels here in the backyard, I'm surrounded by a bunch of Luddites.

And then, wouldn't you know it? They turned on security! Sheesh! What's a rabbit got to do to get on the internet? Luckily for me, the grey one wanted to test his connection from outside and he left his notes when he went back in. I was able to copy down his SSID and pass phrase before he came back to get them.

So I finally get to tell my story. Maybe you'll learn a few things. Maybe even tolerance. I can hope, can't I?